Truth or dare
by MyimmortalHadenXCharm
Summary: They had delegated renting out a gaming room to Ichigo, so they could all spend time together or something. Play karaoke, and eat snacks and talk. Stuff like that. In Ichigo's opinion, things were going horribly wrong, and he should've known that they would the moment he had heard Uryu refuse to come.
1. Introductions

Truth or Dare #Intro

* * *

_This is not one of those 'Bleach request truth or dare, parody' fictions. This is a **REAL** Story fiction (: _

* * *

:) Hello there, I hope you enjoy this, I really am having fun writing it. Give me some character criticisms, and tell me if you think it's funny or not!

Back Story: This is an **Alternate universe** in which Gin Ichimaru did NOT die, and was accepted back into Seireitei (Not as a captain, obviously, although Izuru still calls him 'Taichou'). People still generally don't trust him, but accept his presence, and the fact that he was trying in his own twisted way, to defeat Aizen too.

Also, all of these weird relationships are publically accepted (besides Byakuya-Kenpachi, and Gin-Kira. Because no one really understands what they have goin' on.

Also somehow, Yumichika is _pregnant._ I'm warning you now. If you don't like that sort of thing, then I'm sorry, you don't have to read this. (I did try my best to make it tasteful and keep Yumichika in character) I _do_ have YumixIkkaku _without_ male-pregnancy though, and people seem to like that one. (: (Losing the fight- Six Chapters so far, Ha-ha!)

Also also, for some reason, these people all want to hang out together in the human world. And play games. Even though they're not really all friends.

Yeah.

* * *

**Pairings included: **

RenjixIchigo- Engaged, Getting married soon! Virgin!Ichigo

KiraxGin- Partners/Lovers Harassed!Kira Childish!Gin

RangikuxHisagi- Lovers/ Friends-with-benefits in public Jealous!Hisagi

YumichikaxIkkaku- Married and a baby coming soon! Jealous!Lovestruck!Ikkaku Pregnant!Emotional!Yumichika

ToshiroxMomo- Commited relationship Pervy!Toshiro

ShunsuixUkitake- Life partners/ Longtime Lovers Babycrazy!Ukitake

ByakuyaxKenpachi- Hate sex

Orihime and Rukia aren't a couple! (: But they're playing the game together.

* * *

Enjoy (: Please leave a review. I'll LOVE you if you do. We can be best friends Tee-hee.

* * *

...

* * *

"Everybody, Sit your asses down!" Ichigo shouted loudly throughout the game room, harsh, commanding voice in sharp contrast from the way Renji had him clutched gently against his body, nearly in his lap. "We're playing Truth or Dare! That's it! No more arguing!"

Renji smiled, eyes blinking slowly as he scanned that beautiful face, even though his ears were ringing from the yelling emanating from Ichigo's mouth.

Every few moments, the substitute shinigami would wriggle and maneuver back into his own chair, but the arm that Renji had around his shoulders kept pulling him in, slowly and unobtrusively. Eventually, Ichigo swatted his lover's tattooed arm away from him. "Stop. This is a public place."

Renji sighed, sliding down in his seat in dismay. Ichigo always tried to be very private, and it took a toll on the older man, who was very passionate in his need to let his territory be known.

"STOP IGNORING ME, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE! YOU CAN EAT WHILE YOU PLAY, HISAGI!"

His territory, today, was giving himself an ulcer.

"IT'S THREE IN THE DAMN AFTERNOON! STOP EATING ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, YOU FUCKING FAT-ASSES!"

Ukitake-Taichou looked alarmed at the color that Ichigo's face had turned. Hisagi and Ikkaku's turned their food-stuffed faces towards Ichigo for a moment before turning away again. Rangiku didn't even bother looking up.

Renji counted out three seconds and then cautiously put his arm back around Ichigo.

The strawberry's shoulders rocketed up around his ears, and his head snapped around to glare at the other. Renji wilted. "Babe," He tried, weakly.

Immediately, the tension slipped from Ichigo's shoulders, and he seemed tired all of a sudden as Renji continued, "Calm down, we're supposed to be having fun. They're comin', don't worry."

Ichigo flopped his head back onto Renji's arm. The redder-heads heart squeezed, easily able to feel the waves of anxiety practically pulsating out from his young lover, soon to be husband.

"If they don't, I'll have Rukia make them," Abarai fixed, making it sound like a question.

Ichigo smiled then. "So considerate," he said sarcastically. Renji's confidence swelled, and he leaned back in his chair, propping a foot up on his knee.

"Whatever my baby needs."

"I'm notch'yer baby." Ichigo said exasperatedly, for the hundred-some time. And for the hundred-some time, Renji deflated pitifully.

"C'moooonnnnnnnnn-"

"No!"

"Nnnnnnn-uuuuhhhh-" Renji began shaking Ichigo by the shoulders, flopping his head back and forth.

"Stop it!"

"Kay, baby."

That vein in Ichigo's forehead twitched, and Renji could've sworn that he had just had a small stroke. Not good.

The strawberry crossed his arms and began to scowl, and worse, _ignore_ him. Great.

When Ichigo started scowling, it could go on for days. When he crossed his arms along with it, it usually went on for weeks.

So, doing the only thing he knew of that might quickly fix things, he took a deep breath, cupped his hands around his mouth, and boomed, "HURRY UP, YOU FAT-ASSES, WE'RE WAITING, WE LOSE THE ROOM AT MIDNIGHT, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!"

By that point, Toshiro and Momo, Ukitake and Shunsui, and Byakuya were lured over away from the other half of the room.

"I still think we should play spin the bottle, don't you think so Izuru?" Came a lilting slimy voice from over near the snack table.

"Taichou, not so loud!" Kira whispered, sounding harassed. "Please!"

"Gomen-ne, koibito. We'll play later?"

Izuru nodded, cheeks pink. "Hai."

Hisagi plopped into a chair, shoulders hunched disappointedly. He shouted acrossed the room at the voluptuous strawberry-blonde next to Ichimaru, "_I_ still think we should play strip poker!"

Rangiku ignored him, practically shoving Gin's face into her bosom as she hugged him close. Gin's thin arms wrapped around her after a moment, and they seemed to be whispering to each other as the stood there holding one another. Gin's silver head dropped down and rested on her shoulder, and he clutched the back of her head, tenderly.

Hisagi scowled.

They soon broke apart and Rangiku began piling snacks up onto a plate, all the while chattering animatedly to her childhood friend, who stood there, eyes opened slightly wider, smiling in a way that was different from how he normally did. More sincere. Happy, rather than amused.

Soon the strawberry-blonde pranced back over with her food, leaving Gin behind. As she dropped into her chair, Hisagi grimaced, turning cold and coiling in on himself. He crossed his arms and turned away from her, pouting like a little boy.

"Why don't you go sit by _him?_" He said.

Rangiku chewed, staring at him without changing expressions. She was obviously not having any of it. "Okay, I will." She got up, but was yanked back down as Hisagi whirled around and grabbed the seat of her pants and pulled her down.

"I didn't mean that. Stay here with me, please." He said resentfully, eyes averted. Rangiku sniffed, rolling her eyes.

"Men," she mumbled, continuing to eat.

Just as Ichigo rose back up and took a breath to shout that they'd already decided what they were doing and there was no changing it, Rukia's voice boomed throughout the whole room, drawing everyone's attention. "No! I wanna play Ichigo's game!"

Of course, this draws the attention of the stragglers.

Ichigo just sighed, whispering that he gives up. Renji kissed the side of his head before getting up and pulling the proper amount of chairs into the circle in pairs.

"Make sure you sit with your squeeze, you guys!"

They had delegated renting out a gaming room to Ichigo, so they could all spend time together or something. Play karaoke, and eat snacks and talk. Stuff like that. In Ichigo's opinion, things were going horribly wrong, and he should've known that they would the moment he had heard Uryu refuse to come.

It had only been twenty minutes and he was already exhausted.

Ichigo watched Renji gently lead Yumichika over to a chair and then quickly back away when Ikkaku came tearing acrossed the room. Yumichika was six months pregnant, and this had the third seat _constantly_ threatening everyone, in his anxiety to protect his sweetheart_._

Ichigo grinned, knowing quite well that Ayesegawa easily had Ikkaku, Renji, Hisagi, and to an extent, Iba, Kira and Kenpachi, at his beck and call. They were all skittish at first, weirded out after finding out that someone (and a _man,_ no less,) that they'd known for so long was now _pregnant_, but ultimately they were attentive towards him.

Ichigo was surprised that Madarame hadn't gone mad with worry yet. Or perhaps he had already.

Ikkaku sharply glanced at Renji. Abarai just shrugged and backed away, sitting down by Ichigo once again. Ikkaku plopped down into the chair next to Yumichika, who kissed him on the nose. The larger man grinned goofily, still completely lovesick with his new husband. It was kinda sweet how happy he was. Hisagi couldn't even find it in him to crack a joke about how stupid he looked, chin on palm, elbow on knee, gazing at his partner with such adoration.

Anyone could tell how _gone_ Ikkaku was on Yumichika. They had been able to tell for decades. Of course, this devotion went hand in hand with the scathing jealousy and insecurity that the skinhead had never quite gotten under control.

Even before Yumichika and he had started dating three years ago, he had been very possessive and protective. He would beat low ranking shinigami senseless for being dumb enough to catcall his, then, bestfriend. He would choke men in bars who tried to 'pay' Yumi for a go. He hung a man from the corner of the Captain's office's roof by his crotch after hearing that he had supposedly bed Yumichika. It was a wonder that Ayesegawa didn't catch on earlier.

And _after_ they began seeing each other, oh boy, they had _all_ been subjected to his jealous wrath. Of course, Ikkaku had toned down when he and Yumichika got married, but he would still go from ten to a hundred and fifty degrees in a second if he saw someone chatting up his 'babydoll'.

After awhile, Ikkaku had began to allow Yumichika to normally interact with Renji, Hisagi, and Iba again without incurring his rage, as he seemed to remember they were all friends and would never hurt him so deeply as to steal his lover, but after Yumichika had been found to have been carrying a child, he had become an anxious, overprotective mess once more.

Yumichika had long since tired of telling Ikkaku to stop handing out death threats like spare change. To their friends, no less.

This didn't keep Ikkaku from always keeping at least one hand in contact with Yumichika's leg, his side, or his arm, as if he'd get snatched up at any given moment.

As the others neared the chairs and sat down, they began to switch chairs with each other as they saw fit, as they realized that they needed to sit near their partner, and in almost all cases, lover. Byakuya ended up being forced to sit next to Kenpachi after seeing that there were no more empty chairs. He was not pleased by this.

Rukia's voice filled the room again as she floated into her seat, next to Ichigo and Orihime. "Ichigo, let's start. Tell us the rules of your Truth or Dare."

Ichigo looked up, "Maa, they don't have Truth or Dare in Soul Society?"

Renji answered back, "We've got somethin' close. You ask embarrassing, awkward questions, and whenever you won't answer one, ya' get punched."

Ikkaku growled, which was in sharp contrast from the gentle way he drew Yumichika's leg up into his lap. "I hate that game. Everyone loses. If you officially lose, it's cause you got punched more, 'n if you win you've just made an ass of yourself by answerin' embarrassing crap. That's still losin'."

Suddenly, Yumichika sat up straighter, pulling his leg away, and Ikkaku nearly jumped out of his skin. Hisagi grinned, glancing over at him.

Ayesegawa swept hair out of his usually violet eyes, today lacking feathers, and chirped acrossed the room towards a certain blonde. "Ne, Kira-kun."

Kira jumped a little bit, head bowing, eyes peering up through his hair, "Ha-.. Hai?" He said warily, eyes flicking to Ikkaku, whose eyes were narrowing further and further by the moment.

"Can you see from here if there's soda crackers at the snack table? I'm a little bit nauseous." Immeadiately three men in the circle twitched, wanting to satisfy the need that had been presented.

Kira, being closest to the snack table, stood up next to his seat and looked over, "Eto… Yes, I think so, Yumichika-san."

"You sure you don't want me to get up, baby?" Ikkaku asked, making to rise, stopping only when his lover weakly grasped his arm, tugging him down.

"That's all right, Ikkaku, you're clearly exhausted." A gruff 'che' was heard from Kenpachi. Ikkaku glared at his captain, before continuing on.

"But yer' tired after walkin' around all day, you said your ankles hurt, I can do it."

"It's okay, I'll go.. Do you want anything? Sake?"

"Me!" Hisagi and Rangiku shouted at the same time. Kyoraku looked as though he wanted to chime in, but refrained as he glanced at Ayesegawa's wobbly legs. He didn't want to contribute to the burden.

"Ikkaku?"

"No, I told you, I'm not drinking until you can too." He said adamantly. Yumichika sighed, looking at the ceiling in exasperation.

"Okay, what then." Ayesegawa tapped his foot on the ground.

"Ano… Maybe another bento."

"What?" Renji asked, laughing flatly.

"Fat ass! You ate three already!" Hisagi shouted, "There's gonna be none left for anyone else!"

Yumichika crossed his arms over his belly, "Hey, I ate one of those."

"Yeah, _you_ ate two of 'em too. Fat-ass yourself!" Ikkaku pointed at Hisagi. "I'm just hungry, _Kami_, stop giving me crap!"

Ichigo rubbed his temples, leaning back in his chair, "Whatever, you guys, don't be so cranky. You're making everyone wait."

Yumichika seemed to become self-conscious then, "Oh.." He almost looked as if he would stutter, before he brushed his hair behind his ear and smiled, "Does anyone else over here want anything?"

"Pocky!" Hisagi shouted,

"Nn, Pocky for me too. Ichigo?" Renji said.

"Watermelon."

Yumichika giggled quietly, "Hitsugaya Taichou is here, there won't be any left already."

"Pineapple then."

"Oh my." Renji grinned wolvishly, biting at Ichigo's neck.

"Idiot!" Ichigo gasped, "Not you!"

"Anyone else? No one? Alright." Yumichika began tottering out of the ring of chairs, through the space that Renji scootched out to make for him. Ikkaku turned all the way around in his seat to watch him wobble his way over to the other side of the room and begin stacking food.

"Still can't believe you guys are together." Ichigo muttered.

Ikkaku blinked. "You _must've_ thought we were together when we first met. Everyone did… No?"

Ichigo then rolled his eyes, "Maa, I was too busy watching your stupid luck luck dance, dobe!"

"Dobe yourself, 'ya stupid asshole!" Ikkaku shouted, clenching his fists. Renji managed to move his torso in front of Ichigo while still sitting down, staring Ikkaku in both eyes. They shoved eachother a couple times, before laughing and shoving eachother more.

"All I'm saying is, he's way too good for you. I can't believe you're still together." Ichigo said incredulously. Ikkaku's face twitched, before he looked at the floor, hands clenching.

Renji started up, "When are you gonna get used to it, it's been like four years now and one of those years they've been married. The rest of who've known them since the academy days have been bettin' for decades. Ya woulda been crazy to think that they wouldn't end up together. 'N besides, Ikkaku's good to Yumichika too, don't be so rough on them, babe."

"I'm not your babe!" Ichigo pouted. Renji shoved his face into his armpit.

"Ikkaku breaks his back just so Yumichika never even has to bend over to pick somethin' up with that big belly 'a' his." Hisagi said seriously, "And he gave up drinkin'." He grimaced.

"He's still lucky to have 'im!" Ichigo snarks. "Big hulkin' idiot."

"I know… I'm so lucky" Ikkaku said, rubbing the back of his neck, smiling a little. "Lu-"

"No dancing, Ikkaku." Yumichika jabbed, laughter in his voice, as he came back, footing uneven as Renji scooted back up to let him in. Ikkaku's eyes lit up brighter than the stars. Ichigo had to smile.

Yumichika was the best thing that could've happened to an asshole like Ikkaku.

"How's it comin' Yumi?" Hisagi rubbed his hands together as Yumichika distributed food packages to those who asked for them.

"Beautifully," Yumichika said, looking harassed. His feet were bare, and he wore black leggings and a large purple t-shirt that draped over his belly; his hair was in his violet eyes, and all around, he looked exhausted. "Just beautifully, Shuuhei."

"Here, sit on my lap, sugar. I'll rub your feet." Ikkaku offered, leaning back, making a space on his leg for Yumichika to sit.

Yumichika immediately began to move to settle in his lover's lap, but jerkily stopped himself, shaking his head rapidly, playing with his fingers behind him. "No... I can't." He closed his eyes, and raised his eyebrows, tilting his head upwards imperiously.

Ikkaku leaned forward, brushing his hand over the other man's leg in comfort, "Why not, darlin'?" He glanced over at the conversing captains on the other side of the circle while waiting for his answer. When he received none, he looked back up, rubbing Yumichika's thigh.

"..."

"Come on, you can tell me." He looked up into Yumichika's face to see it crumple.

"I'm _fat,_ okay!" Ayesegawa whisper-shrieked with a sort of exasperated embarrassment. Ikkaku gaped.

Ichigo for some reason, became extremely agitated, like that was a personal insult. "Pregnant and fat are _not _the same things!" Renji looked at him strangely.

"I'm not beautiful anymore." Yumichika spoke as if every word was killing him slowly and excruciatingly. "Look at me, I'm falling apart." Ikkaku gasped softly.

"Who told you that? I'll kill 'em." He placed his hand on Yumichika's side and coaxed him closer. Yumichika just jerked out of his grasp, looking distraught. "Come on now… You know I always think you look amazing… Don't you guys think so?"

Ikkaku's warning glance kept the men quiet. Mostly.

"Yeah Yumichika, you've been glowing for months now," Rangiku said, "Your skins glowing."

"That belly makes the rest of you look skinnier." Hisagi commented. Behind Yumichika's back, Ikkaku put his face in his hand and shook his head woefully.

Yumichika's face flickered, almost as if he felt better for a moment, but his head then hung, eyes growing moist. "I'm ugly and fat."

"You know, pregnant explains it. Fat, I don't get." Ichigo mumbled, frowning in distress. Everyone ignored him.

"C'mon sit down," Ikkaku said gently, drawing Yumichika in, before latching firmly onto his wrist, keeping him from escaping. The smaller man immediately began to tug, and beat on Ikkaku's chest as he was dragged closer and closer. Madarame winced, not because the blows hurt, but because he didn't want to hurt his partner on accident by being too rough on him.

"Ikkaku, I'll cut off your circulation, I already-"

Ikkaku let him go then. "Yeah, I remember." He shook his head in exasperation, "Your nightmare of being too fat for me to pick you up. That'll never happen, Chicka-chan. Never _ever_. Now sit. I wanna hold you."

Yumichika's lip wobbled for a moment.

"Baby…" Ikkaku said, sticking out his own lip. Yumichika seemed to drain then, approaching slowly. Ikkaku grinned as Yumichika gingerly set his weight onto Ikkaku's lap.

"…"

"See? Can't even tell the difference, beautiful." Ikkaku inhaled the light, fragrant scent of his lover, smiling peacefully.

"Really?" Yumichika asked miserably.

"Really." Ikkaku said in a mock-misery tone.

Yumichika sighed loudly, flopping sideways into Ikkaku's chest. Ikkaku hissed and stiffened as the side of Yumichika's belly pressed up against him firmly. He slowly eased back into his relaxed position as he assessed that everything was still fine. He slowly moved his arm and settled it around Yumi's middle, hand gently pressed against the baby bump. Yumichika placed his face in the side of Ikkaku's neck, looking exhausted, "You're so good to me. I'm sorry for being like this."

"I'm sorry for making you like this." Ikkaku kissed the side of Yumichika's head tenderly, holding him close.

At that moment, a voice distracted everyone from their group conversations, and drew their attention.

"Neeeee, Izuru, my head hurts," Gin said loudly, smiling in Kira's face. Kira sighed, closing his eyes before grabbing his former captain's hand, holding it up, and pinching the pressure point between his forefinger and thumb with his nail.

Four dead silent seconds passed.

"Naaaa, I already feel better." Gin grinned widely, showing his teeth. Kira closed his eyes, but everyone still saw him roll them.

"Gin," Rangiku said with her mouth full. His shaggy silver head lifted to her next words, "You're stupid."

He scratched the back of his head, "_Yer_ stupid." He stayed quiet for a few moments before nudging Izuru, who looked ready to commit a violent crime involving a crowbar and a piece of plywood. "Neeee, Izuru I need a tissue."

Kira began to rise, "No!" Rangiku shouted, "Kira-san," She said sweetly, "Sit please,"

She drew a tissue out of the front of her shirt, smiling wickedly as she wadded it up and threw it at Gin's forehead. It bounced onto the ground with a pathetic *_piff*._ Gin frowned lightly.

"Kira is here to relax, Gin. Delegate his tasks to me." She smiled, raising an eyebrow. Toshiro blinked at Rangiku's uncharacteristic selflessness. Gin scowled at her for a moment, surprising everyone, before smiling once more.

"Maaa, Ran-chan, you wound me."

"Say it." Rangiku ordered, pointing her finger violently at Gin.

"Yer tryin' to embarrass me, aren't'cha?"

"_Say it, Gin."_

Gin tilted his head, "Apologies, Kira-san. It was not my intention to harass or tire you. In the future I will put my effort into refraining from doing so. Woe betide me if I bring misfortune upon you again." It sounded laboriously rehearsed. Kira blinked incredulously, turning his head toward the other man.

"Um… Thank you, Taichou." He sounded as though he didn't believe what he had just heard.

"Hai," Gin grinned, eyes narrowing at Rangiku, who scowled back at him.

They all just blinked at eachother for a moment before Rukia stood up. "Alright! Can we start yet?"

"Yeah, we're starting right now!" Ichigo yelled at her, "Stop shouting about it! Geez!"

"Shut up, Baka!"

"Boke!"

"Teme!"

"Knock it off!" Renji shouted, pulling Ichigo away from Rukia, who he was holding back with his foot. "We're starting, damnit, quit fighting already!"

"I agree." Byakuya stated stoically. Kenpachi looked at him strangely.

"Fine, fine," Ichigo said, "Rules are simple, We play in a circle. Whoever's turn it is gets to pick any person, and ask 'truth or dare'. If they pick truth, you think of a question that they must answer. If they pick dare, you tell them to do something, and they've gotta do it. Questions."

Ukitake raised his hand halfway, "Are there any… limits?"

"Dares can't cause bodily harm to anyone, and you can't make them be sweet on anyone but their partner." Ichigo said, grimacing. "So If Renji dared Byakuya to kiss Toshiro, he doesn't have to."

"Alright."

"So no hits, and no forced cheating. You can't make them leave the building, or do anything that'll make them sick or bleed or anythin' like that."

"Got it!" Rukia said enthusiastically.

"So. Alright we're starting… Who's starting." Ichigo asked, smirking. Rukia popped up in her chair, prancing to the middle of the circle.

"I'll pick!" She announced imperiously. She clapped her hand over her eyes, and twirled in a circle a few times, before sticking her arm out and pointing, right at...

* * *

Coming next! Truth or Dare, Round 1!

Please review! (:


	2. Round 1

"So. Alright we're starting... Who's starting." Ichigo asked, smirking. Rukia popped up in her chair, prancing to the middle of the circle.

"I'll pick!" She announced imperiously. She clapped her hand over her eyes, and twirled in a circle a few times, before sticking her arm out and pointing, right at...

Kenpachi.

Ichigo immediately groaned.

"What's that for, asshole?!" Kenpachi barked.

Ichigo muttered something about 'Why'd it have to be you-'.

"What, you think I'm a dumb-ass?!" Zaraki's energy filled the room, crackling wildly, causing Yumichika to gasp. It decreased consequently, betraying Zaraki's gruff care for Yumichika.

"Yeah!" Ichigo shouted fearlessly.

"Fair enough." Kenpachi said, energy all but dissipating.

Yumichika giggled from his perch in Ikkaku's lap. Madarame gave his captain a shit-eating grin, glancing at Byakuya a few times. Zaraki growled, "Fucker."

"'Kay, whatever. Zaraki, you got the first turn."

"I _know._"

The bell-adorned captain huffed, turning his glare onto the, in his opinion, far too happy Yumichika. He was chattering happily to Ikkaku as he smoothed out his static-puffed hair.

"Ayesegawa."

"Oh, me." Yumichika beamed, wiggling happily. Ikkaku grinned, settling his lover closer into his lap.

"…" Kenpachi hulked forward, hunkering down on his forearms, leaning onto his knees. He eyed Yumichika menacingly, baring his teeth.

"Maa. Say, 'truth or dare'." Ichigo prodded.

"I was gonna, ya' punk." Kenpachi said, grudgingly so, before turning back to Yumichika. "Truth or dare, flamo."

Yumichika ignored the jab, "The truth is more beautiful." He said matter-of-factly and then smiled. Kenpachi growled.

"A'right..."

Ichigo waited for a moment before sticking in, "Ask a question."

"Shut up! I was gettin' there!"

"If you say so,"

"… A'right… You actually a man?"

Yumichika gasped, looking victimized: Eyes wide and watery, mouth open. He then clamped his hands over his face, drawing his legs up as close to his body as he could with his large belly.

"What the heck, Taichou!" Ikkaku shouted incredulously, in disbelief. "Really? How long have we known eachother?!" He began rocking the distraught Yumichika, who began to whimper pitifully. "Not funny." He stroked Yumichika's hair, bouncing him on his leg.

Kenpachi shrugged, "Hey, when we met he had a hime haircut, and he was wearin' a girl's yukata. You thought he was a woman too. Ya' even told me you were gonna '_bring yer game'_."

Ikkaku's jaw dropped, eyes popping open.

Yumichika wailed, and Ikkaku clamped his arms around Yumichika's chest, keeping him sitting down. Ayesegawa began kicking and flailing, calling Ikakku filthy names in a cracked and distressed voice. After a few seconds, Ikkaku practically yanked his hands off of Yumichika, looking fearful as Yumichika stumbled away.

"Taichou, shut your lying mouth. That's what _you_ said." Ikkaku stuck his chin out at Zaraki, watching Yumichika out of the corner of his eye, who stood there shaking.

"Ya still thought 'e was a girl."

"I was _drunk_ and in a brothel full of dancing naked women. I could hardly see! I thought a _post_ outside was a woman. And what game?! We all know that _I_ don't have any _game_! That was just drunk talk!"

"That was such… A stupid question, Zaraki!" Ichigo shouted, finally seeming to get over the initial shock of the question.

"Yeah waita go, Taichou." Renji sneered, watching Yumichika try to discreetly wipe his wet eyes before tears fell. His knees knocked once, then twice, before buckling. Renji half stuck his arms now, ready to catch him if he fell.

Ikkaku batted the tattooed arms away, tapping on Yumichika's side, tugging him gently back towards him, gently cooing to him, "It's okay, sweetheart, c'mere-"

"Don't pretend you weren't wondering too, you guys," Zaraki gestured towards Ayesegawa's engorged stomach. Yumichika flinched violently, face screwing up. Ikkaku shoved his middle finger into Zaraki's face, getting his hand slapped away. Spiritual pressure fizzled throughout the room.

"It's not like he's the first shinigami to get pregnant around here," Kyoraku commented, drawing his hat lower over his eyes, smirking widely.

Ikkaku finally coaxed Yumichika back into sitting down in the chair next to him, beginning to massage his ankles and lower legs.

A few silent moment passed, with nothing but a sniffle from Yumichika.

"Zaraki, that was out of line." Byakuya said coldly, giving him a sideways flick of the eyes and nothing more.

"Hear, hear." Shunsui murmured from under the shade of his hat.

"Yare, yare.." Gin mumbled to Rangiku.

"_Kami_, you guys are whiny."

Yumichika picked one of his flats up off the ground and whipped it acrossed the circle and hit Kenpachi in the face with it. "Taichou! Shut. Up."

Zaraki seethed.

Ichigo outwardly ignored him, but raised his own spiritual pressure as a challenge. He pointed to Kyoraku, who had caught on quickly and pointed right back at Ichigo.

"Ichigo! Truth or dare."

Taken aback, the redhead answered, "Dare."

"I dare you…" Shunsui said rather sleezily, "To join a drinking contest with me and Kisuke, to be discussed at a later date."

"Ooohhh, That was mean Shunsui." Ukitake tisked, shaking his head. Kyoraku just grinned wolvishly. Ichigo rubbed his temple.

"Kami-sama, give me strength." He whispered. "Agreed," He said louder, "Ukitake-Taichou's turn."

Juushiro rubbed his hands together, before tentatively turning to Kira, who was sitting with his head bowed, hair covering his face.

"Kira-san." The blonde jerked in his chair, looking up warily.

"Truth," He said quietly. Juushiro smiled.

"Is it true you're trying for a child?"

"Woah now," Hisagi said, falling back in his chair, staring at Izuru, absolutely aghast. Ikkaku just opened and closed his mouth several times. Renji put his face in his hands.

Kira began sputtering like a fish, "Who- How do- Wha-…" Suddenly recognition flashed acrossed his face, "Momo!" He shouted in mortification and anger.

Hinamori ducked her head. "You promised you wouldn't tell!" Kira shouted, sounding for all the world, absolutely betrayed.

Gin smiled menacingly, glaring at her.

"But I only told one person," She said sadly.

"Who?" Kira said exasperatedly, hiding behind his hands in mortification.

"Rangiku…" Gin said in a low voice. Matsumoto just rolled her eyes.

"Oh Gin, you were telling people too."

"Aiii, Taichou!" Kira snapped up in his chair, looking even more betrayed than before.

"Ahn, Izuru, don't be mad at me," Gin frowned pitifully, eyes creasing, "I was excited, ne?" Ichimaru practically crawled into his lap, putting his face up close to the blonde's. "I was excited and happy, don't be angry, Izuru."

Kira put his face in his hands. Rangiku continued on, "-Thought you were gonna explode when you told me. I've never seen you hop around like that."

"Taichou… Why." Kira said into his hands, as if he didn't really want to know the answer.

"Maaa, I was just so happy when you said yes, I had to share."

Kira grumbled something incoherently.

"I'd never dream of it," Gin simpered, leaning his chin on his hand, right in Kira's face. Rangiku yanked Gin away by the collar of his shirt.

Ichigo rolled his eyes at their antics. "Kira, It's your turn."

The blonde lifted his head.

He glared at Rangiku with his dark eyes, before smiling in an unsettling way that resembled Gin a bit too closely.

"Matsumoto-san." He said in a too friendly way.

"Truth?" She said.

"You told me when you were drunk that you used to have a tattoo. What was it?" Kira smiled. Hisagi looked scared out of his skin, staring at the face of his old student. Ikkaku clenched his gut at the creeped-out feeling he got.

Rangiku looked mortified. "Kira!"

"Now we're even." He said rather darkly, before dropping his eyes to the floor.

She pouted, before meeting Gin's incredulous face, "Eee? Rangiku!" He bore down on her like a jackal.

"What?!" She said defensively, leaning away from him.

"When did you get a tattoo?" Gin said almost angrily, hands fisting on her pant leg.

"Ey! Back off of her!" Hisagi shouted viciously, practically tearing out of his seat to grab the silver-haired man's throat.

"Shut up!" Rangiku shoved Shuuhei's face away from her. "Right after we graduated." She mumbled.

"Well?" Kira asked without lifting his eyes from the floor. "What was it?"

"A tiger." She said grudgingly. "Haineko. I don't have it anymore. "

"_Where_ was it?" Hisagi said, forgetting his earlier anger, suddenly morbidly interested, eyeballing her. She slapped him.

"That wasn't part of the question, you pervert!" They began shouting and swatting each other back and forth.

Ichigo shook his head. "Ichimaru. Yer turn."

"Toshiro." The small captain scowled at the use of his first name.

"Truth."

"Naa, can I have some watermelon? Onegai?"

"NN-" He started to refuse, clutching the large bowl in his lap, before a wild shake of the head and frantic throat-slicing motions from Rangiku changed his mind, "N-Yes."

"Dooooomo~"

"Rangiku's turn."

"Ichigo!"

"… Ahh, Truth."

"Are you and Shuuhei related?

"Haa…?" Ichigo and Shuuhei said simultaneously.

"I mean you look exactly alike?"

"He-heh, Ran-chu.." Shuuhei sweatdropped. "I don't think that-"

"No, we don't!" Ichigo's eye twitched. Renji slapped his forehead with his palm, mumbling 'Aw, ya done it now'.

"Haaaa?" Rangiku drew herself up straight and tall, bosoms bouncing as she crossed her arms. "What do you mean?"

"Our hair color is different, our eyes are different, and our skin colors are different. Plus Hisagi's a tightwad. We're completely different." The entire room shifted uncomfortably. Renji nodded quickly to try to reverse Ichigo's steady progress of turning into a lemon.

"Well, I suppose," Rangiku grudgingly agreed. "But still, your faces and attitudes… You could be twins!"

"I don't think so, Rangi-chu.." Hisagi said, biting his lip, slitting his eyes. A few silent moments passed and Rangiku slumped backwards, defeated.

Ichigo looked at Hisagi expectantly, and Hisagi just looked back blankly for a moment, before saying, "Oh.. Ah…" Suddenly his head snapped upwards to Ikkaku, who had been snickering at him annoyingly for Rangiku's entire turn. "Ugly."

"Truth. I'm too lucky to need to lie." He gave a shit-eating grin. Hisagi, sneered right back at him, showing his teeth.

"Alright then, we'll see if that's the _truth_." He grinned maniacally. Rangiku widened her eyes, leaning away from him as though he had swung Kazeshini a little too close to her.

Hisagi and Ikkaku were leaning forward towards eachother, menacingly so. Suddenly Yumichika shoved Hisagi's forehead backwards, "Kami, back away from me, I'm being suffocated, Shuuhei!"

Hisagi rubbed the back of his neck, embarassed at their little stare-down. "A'right, sorry Yumichika, I'll get to it then. Ikkaku, the truth. Are you bald or not?"

"Oh no. You did not." Yumichika looked at him blankly. "You did _not._"

Ikkaku's fists clenched, and he trembled in his chair. "I can't believe you played that card, Shuuhei!" Yumichika said disbelievingly. He didn't get to finish his sentence before Ikkaku launched out of his chair, struggling against Hisagi's foot, equally fast in blocking Madarame from hitting him.

"You asshole! I'll kill you, you stupid… _Bastard!_" He struggled against Shuuhei's foot, before leaping over his leg and knocking Hisagi backwards in his chair and onto the ground.

Yumichika just put his face in his hands as the two rolled around, hitting eachother repeatedly.

"Just answer the question, stupid! I thought you didn't need to lie!"

"I HATE YOU! SHUT UP!"

"Just answer it!"

"SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH! SHUT! UP!"

At that point Ichigo nudged Renji and the redder-head got up and dragged Hisagi away from Ikkaku by the ankle. He shoved Madarame into his chair. "Just answer it, asshole, don't be so pissy."

"Fuck you." Ikkaku glared at Hisagi, who was rubbing underneath his new black eye. Madarame wiped some blood off of his lip.

"Well?"

"For the last fucking time, I am not bald." A storm cloud seemed to gather over Ikkaku and he began to brood. Yumichika dragged his head down and kissed him on top of his forehead.

"Bitterness is so unbeautiful, dear."

"…" Ikkaku sighed, some of the tension slipping out of his shoulders. He conceded in putting an arm around Ayesegawa.

"My turn." Yumichika smiled, beautifully, of course. "Ikkaku."

"Eh?"

"I pick you."

"Oh…"

"Truth or dare?"

"… Truth I guess… Just don't make it stupid."

"Stupidity is ugly. Now then. Do you remember that Mizuho girl?"

"… How could I forget that crap." Ikkaku said rather irritably, rubbing at a rather large knot that Hisagi had pounded into the back of his head.

"Well, I know how you act as though you hate the people you like. And you hated her very much so-"

"... Where are you going with this?"

"Hey- Can you guys get a room?" Kenpachi grumbled. Toshiro mumbled something like 'No kidding.' Ichigo glared at both of them.

Yumichika gazed at Ikkaku, blinking once. Ikkaku raised his eyebrows, "I actually hated her. But don't tell, we might need to stay there again. No need for jealousy."

Renji snorted loudly, and Hisagi laughed to himself. Ayesegawa though, didn't realize that they were snickering at Ikkaku and not him.

Yumichika crossed his arms, pouting prettily, "I'm never jealous."

"I know." Ikkaku answered.

"I'm never jealous, Ikkaku."

"I know, I said." Ikkaku said again, patiently.

Yumichika seemed to sink in his chair a little bit, flopping his head onto Ikkaku in spite of himself.

"Madarame, your turn."

"Yeah." Ikkaku grinned, already thinking of a way to get revenge on Shuuhei. "Hisagi,"

"Truth."

"Are Rangiku's boobs real or fake."

Renji did a spittake of Ramune all over the floor, spraying the linoleum tiles. He then began coughing violently and needed Ichigo to pound his back for a full minute.

Hisagi leaned back in his chair for a moment, processing what he had just heard. Rangiku didn't even pause in her noisy chewing, so Shuuhei guessed that it was okay to proceed.

"Real." He said, smirking a little.

Ikkaku gave a whistle. Yumichika smiled when Hisagi jerked forward in his chair, acting as though looks weren't enough to kill.

"Now we're even. Your turn, Abarai." Ikkaku gave Renji a friendly shoulder punch.

"Hm.. Kira."

"Ahhn? Yes? Oh.. Tru-"

"Perhaps you should pick dare this time, ne?" Gin murmured, fingers running down Izuru's leg. Kira shivered.

"Ah, Dare, Renji-san."

".. Hm… I didn't have one ready." Renji scratched the base of his ponytail, thinking, "Oh, I got one." He grinned widely, "Call Ichimaru by his first name." He immeadiately began laughing at Kira's shell-shocked face.

Half the circle gave a brief chuckle.

Gin leaned on his hand, sticking his chin into Kira's face, smiling widely, "It's okay Izuru, I won't bite. I _promise._"

"Okay…" Kira wrung his hands and looked at his lap before speaking, "Gin…" Renji groaned as Kira belatedly added, "-Sama."

"I give up," Renji chuckled. Ichigo just shook his head.

"Byakuya."

The noble looked up, stoically, "Dare."

"… Play karaoke later,"

The Kuchiki heir's eyes widened, and Kenpachi chuckled.

"It's alright, Nii-sama, I will go with you!" Rukia said empathically.

"Thank you, Rukia." He said imperiously.

After glancing back at her brother a few more times, looking very pleased, Rukia then turned and said, "I choose you, Ichigo!"

"Truth."

Immediately she came out with, "Tell me what those things were from the living world that you were trying to hide!", as if she had been planning this question for a long time.

Ichigo put his hands over his face and was silent for a long time. Finally he said, "Condoms."

Hisagi suddenly piped up, "Wait I remember that, those were those things you kept trying to give me, What are they?"

Ichigo looked extremely mortified, but no one seemed to understand the embarrassment besides Orihime, and she was aimlessly looking off at the ceiling. "… Ahh, It's like a plastic sock that you put on yourself before you have sex to keep from getting any STI's. Or from getting pregnant."

"So wait, why did you think I needed them?" Hisagi frowned.

"Well, you were getting with Rangiku and I just thought that she might give you someth-" Suddenly Rangiku's purse went flying acrossed the room and hit Ichigo square in the face.

"Rangiku, what the heck!?" Ichigo shouted, even though he knew he had sort of deserved it.

"Rangiku didn't throw it.." Ichimaru raised his eyebrows threateningly, "Let's move on, Kurosaki-san."

"Umm… Alright… Orihime-chan."

"Wait..." Kenpachi said, frowning. "Why would a sock keep you from getting pregnant?"

Ichigo put his arms over his face and pulled his knees up to his chest, going silent. "You put it on your dick, not your foot."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Can I have my turn now?" Orihime asked shyly.

"Yeah go ahead."

Orihime perked up in her chair. "Naa~ Kyouraku-Taichou?"

"Truth."

"Hm, I guess I'll ask something that I've really been wondering.. Why do all of you captains have a different haori?"

Shunsui leaned back in his chair, arm around Juushiro's shoulder, "Hmm.. Old man Yama gives em out. But we like to personalize them. Some of us find sleeves to be bothersome."

Ukitake then piped up, adding on, "Sometimes I think that Yama-jii stopped getting ones with sleeves because we go through alot of them during battle, and just gives sleeveless ones for the more recent captains... Like Kuchiki taichou and Hitsugaya taichou."

"Me and Juu-chan are the oldest of course. And Unohana-Taichou. He saves the good ones for us."

"Ahhhhh, that makes sense to me," Orihime beamed. "Arigatou-gozaimasu."

"Do-itashimashite, Hime-chan."

"Well who's turn is it now?" Toshiro asked.

"Yer's." Ichigo said blandly, as though he couldn't believe that Hitsugaya hadn't caught on to the pattern by now.

"I was just checking, sheesh. Um... I can't think of anything..."

"Ya want us ta skip ya'?" Renji asked.

"Um... Yeah."

"Alright then. Hinamori-san?"

"Um.. I have one." She piped up softly.

"Shoot."

"Renji-kun?"

"Ah... Hah. Truth." Renji grinned widely at her.

"Why do you always wear that headband? After your goggles broke, you've always got something on your forehead. Why do you do that?"

Renji froze, looking vaguely ill for some reason. "Ichigo... You put her up to asking it didn't you." Ichigo didn't answer for a moment.

"No actually."

"Well... Sick of people laughing at my tattoos and it keeps my hair from coming foreward."

"That's still dumb, Renji." Ichigo said rather gently.

Renji rolled his eyes, "Dumb to you, maybe. No surprise there."

"What's that supposed ta' mean?!"


End file.
